It's Career Day at school and the teacher is having the students stand up

It's Career Day at school and the teacher is having the students stand up, state their parents' occupation, and then spell it. Davie stands up and says, "My dad's a doctor. And that's D O C T O R. Doctor." "Very good," the teacher says to Davie. "Mike?" Mike stands up. "My mom's a lawyer. L A W Y E R. Lawyer." "Excellent. Bruce?" Bruce gets up and says, "Uhh, my daddy, he be one of dem 'sheet metal workers. Dat's S H I . . . " "Ummm, no, Bruce," the teacher corrects, "That's not the way you spell it. Try it again." "Uhhh, 'Sheet Metal Worker.' S H I . . . " "Tell you what, Bruce, why don't you go up to the board and spell it out up there. Little Kevin, your turn." Little Kevin watches Bruce shuffle off to the blackboard. "Well, my dad's a bookie and I can't spell that. But I can give you two to one odds that Bruce spells 'shit' when he gets up to the blackboard."

Two nuns were in back of the convent smoking cigarettes

Two nuns were in back of the convent smoking cigarettes, when one said,"It's bad enough that we have to sneak out here to smoke, but it really is a problem getting rid of the cigarette butts so Mother Superior doesn't find them." The second nun said, "I've found a marvelous invention called the condom, which really solves this problem. You just open the packet up, take out the condom, and put the cigarette butt in, roll it up, and dispose of it all later!" The first nun was quite impressed and asked where she could find them. "You get them at the drug store, sister, just go and ask the pharmacist for them." The next day the good sister went to the drug store and walked up to the counter. "Good morning, sister," said the pharmacist. "What can I do for you today?" "I'd like some condoms, please," said the nun. The pharmacist was a little taken aback, but recovered soon enough and asked, "How many boxes would you like? There are twelve to a box." "I'll take six boxes - that should last about a week," she replied. The pharmacist was truly flabbergasted by this time, and was almost afraid to ask any more questions, but his professionalism prevailed and he asked in a clear voice, "Sister, what size condoms would you like - we have large, extra large, and big liar size." The sister thought for a minute, and finally said, "I'm not certain, perhaps you could recommend a good size for a Camel."dfghj fkjh ssdjk djsik

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